Why We Gossip and What to Do Instead?
For over 20 years, Judy Ryan has been CEO of LifeWork Systems and a recognized thought leader on workplace culture transformation that impacts engagement and performance for exceptional outcomes. She is an award-winning Author, Columnist, System Developer, Consultant, Trainer, Keynote Speaker and is frequently interviewed on TV, radio, and podcasts. Since 2002, Judy has been leading innovative methods to favorably impact the most important aspect of any organization: its people. She has created a digital, scalable culture transformation system and implementation framework. Judy’s purpose is to create a world in which all people love their lives. One of her primary visions is to fulfill her purpose in partnership with like-minded, like-hearted, and innovative thought leaders and change agents worldwide.
Gossip is a highly toxic behavior for the ones giving it and receiving it and it is epidemic. There are reasons, results, and successful alternatives for addressing this destructive and all-to-common behavior. Most people agree gossip is not healthy or helpful and that it is everywhere. They engage in gossip but don’t feel proud that they do. What most do not realize is that there are understandable reasons they gossip that deserve compassion. Here are some of those reasons:
- To feel empowered. Stress in relationships often triggers feelings of being overwhelmed and the belief we’re not empowered. To combat this, gossip gives a false sense of power; pseudo-power. Gossip then provides the illusion we’re taking meaningful action when in fact we’re avoiding it.
- To feel lovable. We often have faulty interpretations of negative behavior from others, become triggered by self-doubt and insecurity, and conclude we’re not lovable. Gossip provides temporary relief as we inflate our virtues and exaggerate the faults of others.
- To feel contributing. We gossip to compensate for times we’re not giving, doing, or saying what would otherwise fulfill us and be aligned with our values because we feel too afraid, unclear, unable, and unwilling to take action.
- To feel connected. Especially in the US, many people report they experience inadequate physical and emotional connection. Gossip, unfortunately, is a widely sanctioned way to intensely connect as opposed to more vulnerable expressions of appreciation, encouragement, and love often disdained as too mushy or touchy-feely.
- “Don’t we just need to vent?” Venting can be helpful but not the way it’s normally done. Gossip as venting is just another way to create the feeling of meaningful action. And indiscriminate, unfocused venting hurts: the one giving it, the one receiving it and the one gossiped about.
- They lack trust, skills, or confidence.
It is only when they consider these reasons that they become capable of adopting alternatives to meet those reasons in fulfilling ways that strengthen each person and their relationships. By consciously deciding to end gossip, people are determining instead to build trust and strengthen teamwork.
Why We Gossip and What to Do Instead is a workshop that provides participants with a powerful means to address gossip head-on and come away with a greater understanding of how to support themselves and others in releasing negative feelings in a constructive and restorative manner.
Each learns about the tool Mind Trust so that commitments are considered and made among the team members which greatly reduces and often eliminates gossip. In addition, they learn the tool Healthy Venting so they honor the intention of venting for transforming reactivity and upset so that rather than destructive consequences, positive resolutions are identified, spoken, and committed to be delivered. This leads to the development of strong, trusting relationships. Not only are the tools and strategies introduced, including steps, but they are also demonstrated and thoroughly discussed.
The why we gossip and What to do Instead workshop is appropriate for anyone who recognizes the harmful effects of gossip and is determined to understand and change this toxic behavior in order to advance teamwork and promote safe, trustworthy, and caring relationships.
Areas Covered
- Understandable Reasons we Gossip
- The Role of Curiosity and Compassion
- The Mind Trust
- Healthy Vs. Unhealthy Venting
- Choosing Encouragement, Support, and Resolution
We first presented this about 10 years ago at a Women’s Conference sponsored by a local TV station. The station also interviewed us on this topic.
We were then invited to do another program on this topic related to men gossiping. We also received invitations to participate in 3 additional TV interviews.
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$200.00
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